Falling off the wagon, stumbling around a bit, and then climbing back on...

Soooooo, this week I didn't do too hot. To make a long story short I went to the fabulous wedding of a couple of fabulous friends, SANS baby!, aaaaaand I overindulged in pretty much everything. I let go of any guilt as best as I could, and just had a freaking fantastic weekend, SANS baby! I really did at one point try to stick to my points, and not drink too much, but it was pretty much impossible. The weekend turned into some kind of drinking and eating marathon, which isn't the kind of marathon I should be participating in, right? I only gained 0.2lbs, which is actually amazing. But because I was a little hung over and tired on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, I ate lots of unhealthy crap in large amounts to try and feel better again. So I probably will gain when I weight in again next week.

I did manage to walk up and down the stairs of the gorgeous hotel about 6 times (there approximately 5 stories of stairs) and I even went and hopped on the elliptical for 20 minutes on Saturday morning, before I had my shower and went to my make-up lesson. Yip, I got a professional make-up lesson, with this really cute male make-up artist, who works at an up-scale salon in Nashville, who didn't seem in the least bit gay. I'm not being sarcastic, really I'm not, he was just this really nice, regular guy, and I had the best time with him. He went through all of my makeup, told me what worked for me, what didn't, and what I needed to go shopping for. The great part about paying someone upfront to do it, as opposed to someone that works in a department store, was that he wasn't trying to push a product on me, just to sell me something and get commission. I really think it is going to save me money because now I KNOW exactly what I need, & how to apply it. I don't have to waste any more time cluelessly wondering up and down the cosmetic isles at Target.

I'm definitely on a self improvement kick, and it is extending into every area of my life. I want to make the most of myself in every way. I want to be skinny and healthy. I want to make the most of my wardrobe and make up. In the past my beauty routine has consisted of:

a.) showering (if I had time)
b.) putting on deodorant
c.) throwing my hair into a messy pony tail
d.) putting on my scruffy uniform of jeans and a tank top or t-shirt
e.) brushing my teeth
f.) mascara and concealer if I was feeling extra fancy.

My wardrobe was, and still very much is, uninspiring. I keep telling myself that I will invest in clothes when I lose the weight, when I get the money, or when I have the energy and motivation to go shopping. Six months ago I purchased a pair of jeans from The Gap, and I literally wore them EVERY SINGLE DAY till I had a hole in the crotch area. But you know what is even sadder. Instead of promptly returning to The Gap to find another pair of jeans, I wore thick, black leggings under my jeans, till the hole just got so big that it was starting to get inappropriate. Before I went to Nashville this weekend, I went back to the Gap to get the exact same pair of jeans, but in a smaller size, because surely after six months I am a little smaller right? WRONG. Exactly the same: 29 8a, (curvy, which is a nice way of saying, you have a gigantic ass, I have a bum that could put J-Lo to shame.) I felt embarrassed, and it was definitely a bit of a wake up call. I have come a long way since I had the baby, I lost 25 of the 55 lbs I hope to lose in the first six months of my child's life. But I still have at least 25 to go. And over the past year, I have stalled, mostly because of some other major life changing events, like moving and going back to school etc etc. But I think I am starting to find my balance. I can feel it.

So here is to another set of resolutions, made in the most gentle, loving way I possibly know how. Because if I am going to succeed at any of this, it is going to have to be through discipline and exceptional self love.

Resolution #1: Recommit to Weight Watchers.

Self Explanatory.

Resolution #2. Recommit to Jillian

I started the 30 day shred, and pretty much arsed out on the 2nd day. I have done it before (she helped me lose those first 25 lbs, 20 minutes a day is easy to commit to, and 30 days is a nice finite period of time to stick to a program before I want to bash myself over the head with this 3 lb dumbbell because I am sooooo sick of Jillian's cheesy jokes). (holy run on sentence.)

Resolution #3: 28 day cleanse

Starts June 6th, more to follow on this in future posts. It's going to be pretty 'out there' (for lack of a better word or phrase), & my husband is going to hate it.

Resolution #4: Try to stay balanced when traveling out of town for weddings, vacations etc.

I have another out of town wedding weekend extravaganza coming up in May that I am so excited about. I really don't want to come home feeling EXHAUSTED and FAT at the end of it this time.

Resolution #5:

Go to church. Just once in the next month or so, go to church, any church will do.

Resolution # 6: Subscribe to a running magazine

Always have the hardest time spending money on myself. But I need to get some kind of marathon training plan together. I'm cruising along fine with the training for the 5K with C25K, but after I run the race in June, I am going to have to step up my training, and I don't know how.

Resolution #7: Enjoy every second with my kid...

...because he is just growing up so fast. One thing about weight loss that sucks, is it puts you in a mindset that you can enjoy your life, that everything will be perfect, when you are skinny again. Wishing for a future that may not come for a while, diminishes your enjoyment of the present. I love him so much. I would share a picture with you, but I am one of those nervous parents that will not post pictures of their children on the Internet.

Thanks for reading,

Cheers for now.